A Wife’s Submission To Her Husband
Posted: Friday, May 18, 2007
By Angie Lewis
Angie -I am a little surprised that you write very in-depth material and when people ask you for help, you refer them to your 300 articles on varied subjects. not even one article in particular. As for this spanking business your comments:"At first, to be honest, I was a little bit taken aback by it myself, but now we have no right to judge how a man leads his home. If this is how it works for him in his household, why should it concern you?"Spanking his wife gets the job done no matter if it puts his wife in the category of misbehaving and unruly child. This is the kind of unfeeling and overaccepting attitude that keeps women subjugated and abused for their entire married lives. I would hope you would either a. help them or offer suggestions of counseling or b. reread your bible and look for the way men are supposed to treat women. with love. love is not to make a woman feel less.Hello,I guess you misunderstood that the wife "wants" him to discipline her in this way. For most couples 99% it won't work, but there are a few where it does and if the wife wants it then where is the problem?As for how a man should treat a woman? I have written numerous, numerous information on that on our marriage ministry website, come and check it out.God bless,Angie
This article is dumb. There is no solution given to the spouses of alcoholics. Angie is more talking about following the lord and hints that a woman can mend her drunkard partner. I suggest the ladies to dump the drunkard husbands they no longer need.In theory you have 1 life and are adviced to stay with the spouse. But i say you have 1 life.. and you dont have to spend it trying to cajole and submit to a fellow and please him.Of course this is not a theology class....be practical in life.
I am currently doing some researh on the topic Submission. This has really helped me to see the views of a variety of people. I never heard of CDD before. I find it funny. I believe in submission but the husband must also love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave his life for her. that command is stronger than submission. If a man loves his wife in this way, there would hardly be problems with submission. Wives have to also keep God's standard, therefore if a husband wants to submit to something that is sinful she should speak out and let him know that she cannot. God must come first.Great advice. Thanks for sharing.
God bless!Angie :-)
Ben, and all others. I'm trying very hard to understand your point of view but it doesn't (in my opinion) make sense because Romans 13:1-7 states that we as christians are to follow the law of the land and addresses the submission we should have to the government unless it goes against God's word. It also states that if we break the law then we are dishonoring God. God has placed the govt. officials in place perhaps to protect us from misusing his word for our own benefit instead of to glorify HIM. No the govt is not perfect, but God instructs us to submit to them. Now.... It is illegal, (not prohibited in the bible) according to the government's law to hit your wife. Since the bible does not command you to do so just as it does not "prohibit" it.. the government does prohibit it and therefore you as the head of the house should be sure you are in submission to the law of the government and not breaking the law in this regard, which you are clearly doing. Your wife broke the law by getting a speeding ticket, you have broken the law of domestic violence (even though you may not call it that). You should be an example to your wife by submitting to those whom u have been instructed to. Government has put laws in place to protect women like your wife from being abused. Jesus came and HE was bruised for OUR sins NOT us yet he is the head of the church. He did not chastise us for this and he lost his life for us. A husband needs to look to Jesus as an example of what a good head is like. You say so loosely "the bible does not allow it but does not prohibit it". How would you feel if your wife found loopholes in your instruction just so she could do whatever she wanted? For example if she said "Well Ben didn't say I could go out today but he DIDNT specifically say I couldn't either soo I'm gonna go" In regards to wife and children being alloted the same things.. you can have sexual relations with your wife, not your children... do u see where I am going? Wife does not equal child and should not be treated as one.
I have a very hard time submitting to my husband at times. We have been married for 6 years with 3 children. He has only held a job down for 1 1/2 years all together. The other 4 1/2 years it has been my role to work full time, continue my education, take our 2 disabled children to the doctors, cook, clean, do laundry and take care of the house. He says I have no right to question him and his decisions; if I do he goes crazy screaming and yelling at me. He does nothing to help me around the house except maybe put gas in our vehicle and clean the garage. How do I not have a right to make decisions when all I do to contribute to this family? my husband recently has been put on SSI for a back injury, Bipolar disorder, ADHD, OCD, Personality disorder, PTSD, and anxiety. Now with all this said doesn't it seem very one sided or maybe I'am just being too hard on him. Also he refuses to attend any more treatment-he thinks nothing is wrong with him. So what I'am trying to say is I do about 95% of everything needed for the family and I'am just to sit back and let him make all the decisions? Oh, just recently he decided we aren't to celebrate Christmas anymore because it's pagan-he has taught our children to chant Christmas is pagan and Jesus doesn't like it. They're only 5, 6, and 7 and have no clue what they're saying. Please help me understand what I'am to do.My husband has ADHD, bipolar, and OCD too. We've been married for 5 years now and because I have refused to gossip and share with friends about out marriage problems I have kept it to myself and am still without answers. Living with a husband with these issues is sooooo hard! If you, in your search, have found any help, words of wisdom, books, etc... regarding the issue (I haven't found anything on submitting to a Christian husband) please let me know. Thank you and God bless.Dear RNdriven...we have lots of information about submission and headship on our marriage healing ministry website, "Heaven Ministries". I would also like to counsel you in regards to your questions on submission. My short answer to you is this: Before we can come to a solution there are many questions that need to be answered. Please visit our ministry and email me (Angie) from there.Blessings,Angie
What about submitting to a husband with OCD??? I love the Lord and desire very much to honor and respect and submit to my husband but sometimes I have a difficult time submitting when he insists I submit to things that (I believe) are OCD related. If he has no conviction or word from God but insists on me doing something do I still submit? It just feels very controlling sometimes and not what God intended.
"A woman who is sure of herself and is made to feel good about who she is will not have a problem submitting to her husband’s loving influence". I need to know why a woman needs to be made to feel. Why cant she feel good on her own? This really troubles me, because many women are not internally driven and dont know ho to make themselves feel good. So why should she be made to feel good? What role/responsibility does she play in her own happiness?In the same vein, does God make our submission to Him dependent on how good we feel? Or how He makes us feel? I have a problem when this is framed in a 'rub my back and i will rub yours' framework. Take tither for example, does God tell us that only when our finances are in order should we tithe? No. What about sexual immorality? Does he say to flee only when we feel super strong?I dont think it is fair to frame this as though our relationship with God is dependent on How he makes us feel. Many times i feel like rebelling towards God, but i battle with myself. Same thing with submission. God doesnt say you submit when you feel good about it, it places no qualifiers, much as we are human beings. If we use the same logic, as a man, i can also place qualifiers on what my wife needs to do in order for me to love her. And my list can be long. All i am saying is that there is no missing link to these thigns. If we start placing qualifiers and 'cause and effect' we inadvertently tell God that His system isnt all that.Dear anonymous,I understand what you are saying and a woman doesn't have to be "made" to feel anything. All I am saying is that men have their role in marriage just like the woman does. I feel it is the Husbands obligation to help us wife understand what submission is through him first submitting his own will to God. the husband being the head of the home, should try and help his wife understand why submission is so important according to his loving influence over her. It is the husbands job to cleanse the wife and make her holy, is it not? What makes a woman "feel" good about herself is a husband who loves his wife in the same way that Christ loves His church.blessings,Angie
Good article. I need your help! I know that the husband is suppose to be the main protector of his family. However, is it sinful for a woman too protect their children equally? She's not sinning if she protects or tries to protect her husband if he's in danger is she? What if a husband and wife were on a date and the husband got gained up on, is it a sin for the wife to rush in and help her husband form the people who are trying to kill him? If I had a husband I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just watched him die without trying to help him. Please please let me know! I'm struggling with this!Hi Riki,
Of course we are to protect our family where and when needed. The point is NOT that the wife cannot help her children or husband if they need it but that we wives ought to be the feminine women that God called us to be for our husbands. A woman who domineers her husband and behaves as the man of the house by taking control of everything that is going on is not acting very feminine, in fact she is not truly being a helpmeet to her husband, but a tyrant.
We women need to relax and stop trying to take control of everything. If we do everything what is left for our husbands? God made specific roles and duties for husband and wife to partake in. When a man allows Christ to be His guide he will surely know how to take care of and provide for his family in the right ways--wives need to let husbands have the reins. If our husbands submit to Christ then we truly have nothing to worry about--let them be the king of the castle-- we need to stop trying to grab the reins...
If my children are in danger or my husband, you bet I would step in and help them...please go to our website and read some of the articles on submission and headship to get a better understanding of this issue. If you have any questions I will be happy to talk with you. Email me anytime from our website too.
Blessings,
Angie :-)
Heaven Ministries
The Bible does not command husbands not to be controlling. It commands them to love their wives. The husband also has an obligation to rule his house well. The fact that this is a requirement for bishops shows that it is a good thing for a man to rule his house well. Some men accomodate angry wives, walking on eggshells, until the wife rules the roost. They may love their wives, but they end up not ruling their own houses, which is bad.
If your brother sins, rebuke him, Jesus said. Leviticus says do not despise your neighbor in your heart. Rebuke him frankly so that you do not share in his sin.
If a man's wife is being unsubmissive, it may be worth it at to make it uncomfortable for her to continue with her rebellious attitude. If a wife is sinning in this way, who else is going to rebuke her?
As for being controlling, it is not a good trait, but there may be some times a wife needs some 'controlling', like a super-lazy wife who won't get out of bed or a wife who doesn't keep up with her responsibilities. For responsible people, it doesn't make sense to micromanage them, but everyone is different. Some wives may have problems with things that can be helped with some micromanaging and accountability.
There are husbands who are control freaks, too, and that's not good.
This just seems like an awful lot of pressure placed on men, who often already have difficulty asking for help and guidance. A godly husband who speaks openly and honestly, loves unconditionally, seeks spiritual (and practical) guidance when he feels uncertain or conflicted, honors and respects his wife as the help meet for him -- this is a man that even an "unbeliever" like me would be willing to submit to with a full heart. It's too bad there aren't more men like that out there. And I have seen too many spouses "joined in God" in which the husband abuses the benefits of his leadership roles and shoulders few (if any) of the responsibilities. This is not a godly man; this is a user who corrupts spiritual teaching to his own ends. And any Christian woman, faced with a whited sepulchre like this, should get the heck away from him.Women are not children. Men are not Gods. Submitting to another fallible human being is folly. Men and women should be equal partners in a relationship, respecting and helping one another. No I am not a believer, because most religions are women-hating bunk. Most men are sex crazed, violent and power seeking. They seek to establish dominance over other men and over the women in their lives. Women need to stand up to tyrants like these. We are not less than. We have the same brains and ability to make decisions as men. We're actually better at doing that for our families. Get a clue women.
Angie and Frank Lewis created Heaven Ministries, a healing and restoration marriage ministry. Heaven Ministries ~ Marriage Healing Ministry What is God's design for marriage. What is God's plan for you and your marriage?
Angie and Frank also created a new ministry geared to single Christians about scriptural romance and Godly courtship. Do you know what God's plan is for you in the romance department? Heaven Ministries ~ Scriptural Romance in Preparation to Marriage
Angie and Frank also created a new ministry geared to single Christians about scriptural romance and Godly courtship. Do you know what God's plan is for you in the romance department? Heaven Ministries ~ Scriptural Romance in Preparation to Marriage
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