What do you think is so scary about commitment for people who are afraid of it?
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Answers to this question:
People want involvement, not committment; think of bacon and eggs.
The chicken was involved; the pig was committed!
Fear of losing credibility.
I think the indifference is the worst attitude a person has other than cowardice but you can't force a person to commit a commitment with you.
Commitment is for a lifetime. There is no turning back once a commitment has been made. People always want a way out, even when they don't think so (whether it is for their lifetime or a short time). They want guarantees in life, even thought there are no guarantees in life.
They've done it before and have been hurt. Rather than seek healing and understanding they avoid future commitment altogether.
Or if they've never done it, when they were a child they saw somebody they love be hurt in some way as a result of a committed relationship and they didn't see that hurt being resolved. They believe the hurt was caused by the commitment.
People who can't commit don't realize that problems within a relationship have solutions. It's just a question of getting the right help. They're afraid that they'll be locked into something painful and damaging.
A lot of people don't see relationship as a living, organic thing. They see it as something static. They don't realize that commitment is really about commitment to be self-accountable, and to pay attention to problems and to deal with them so neither partner is trapped.
I think it's the idea of giving up any part of our freedom in life, our freedom to do and live exactly as we want to- not to have to feel things we may not want to feel, that's a loss of freedom of ourselves. Turning over any part of ourselves to someone else is what we don't like. But if a person really, truly loves another person, they won't mind it- they will even want to do it. Then they don't feel as though they are losing a part of themselves, but rather like they're gaining another self. That's a good way for someone to test their love for another- to know if it's real love. In real love, we have a deep desire to dissolve into and merge with that person in every way possible.
Total Answers: 7, Total Page Views: 470.Putting yourself out there and actually saying okay I am doing this just to have it all taken away in the long run. Fear of failing at the first chance to commit.
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